6. Joke of the Day

[Ladysmith Bob]

Being blonde

Apologies to those of you who are blonde

[simplyconnected]

A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students in the Finger Lakes of upstate New York.

They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk 'shop'. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.

Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences. Father Flannigan, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.

'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him First Communion and Confirmation.'

Reverend Harlan spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.

In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.

So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!

The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.

The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, ....circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

[Ladysmith Bob]

Weekend BBQ

There must be a whole cow there!

[Dan Leavens]

Dave I had to share your bear joke. Still laughing

[Ladysmith Bob]

A good time was had by all

The guy that was not married didn't say anything

[YellowRose]

Joke of the Day

And That Is How The Fight Started......

[Ladysmith Bob]

Well he certainly wasn't bashful. I like it Ray

[Ladysmith Bob]

Inheriting

A life time collection that means nothing to anyone else, does this look familiar?

[Ladysmith Bob]

Truth in advertising

Sometimes things sound too good to be true

[Ladysmith Bob]

Employees needed

I think I would send it to her anonymously

[Ladysmith Bob]

GPS optional

She's certainly has his number

[YellowRose]

Irish Hunting Trip

Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.

They managed to bag 6.

As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.

The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."

Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded.

The plane took off.

However, while attempting to cross some very high mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and it went down.

Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, Paddy, Mick and the pilot survived the crash.

After climbing out of the wreckage, Paddy asked Mick, "Any idea where we are?"

Mick replied, "Aye. I think we're pretty close to the same spot where we crashed last year."

[Ladysmith Bob]

Not from the Golden Arches

Perfect description

[Ladysmith Bob]

Good advice

One way to learn

[Ladysmith Bob]

Fidget spinner

Keep them busy all summer doing something useful