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  • simplyconnected
    Administrator
    • May 26 2009
    • 8778

    Jotd

    As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up, jumps out of the car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door.

    The trucker lowers the window, and the blonde says "Hi, I thought you might want to know you're losing some of your load."

    The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the blonde catches up again, jumps out of the car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi. You are still losing some of your load!"

    Shaking his head, the trucker again continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again with the same, "...you are losing some of your load!"

    When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on the car window and says, "Hi. It's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
    Member, Sons of the American Revolution

    CLICK HERE to see my custom hydraulic roller 390 FE build.

    "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
    --Lee Iacocca

    From: Royal Oak, Michigan
  • DKheld
    Super-Experienced
    • Aug 27 2008
    • 1583

    #2


    Funny one Dave! Thanks for the laugh....

    Eric

    Comment

    • simplyconnected
      Administrator
      • May 26 2009
      • 8778

      #3
      Ok I got another one...

      A blonde desperately wanted a pair of beautiful alligator shoes. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!'

      The shopkeeper replied with a sly smile, ’Well then, why don't you go give it a try?'

      The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, and spotted the young blonde standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand.

      The shopkeeper saw a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward the blonde. With lightning reflexes, the blonde took aim, shot the creature and hauled it up onto the slippery bank.

      Nearby, were 7 more dead 'gators, all lying belly up.

      The shopkeeper watched in amazement as the blond struggled with the 'gator. Then, with rolling eyes, the blonde screamed in frustration ......

      "DAD-GUM-IT!! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!"
      Member, Sons of the American Revolution

      CLICK HERE to see my custom hydraulic roller 390 FE build.

      "We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
      --Lee Iacocca

      From: Royal Oak, Michigan

      Comment

      • Dan Leavens
        Moderator / Administrator


        • Oct 4 2006
        • 6366

        #4
        Mr. Dare thanks for the chuckles and have a good day
        Dano Calgary,Alberta Canada
        Thunderbird Registry
        58HT #33317
        60 HT (Sold )

        Comment

        • fcar
          Apprentice
          • Nov 13 2010
          • 57

          #5
          Barefoot alligators gave me a good chuckle and I, too, thank you. Hope all is going well up there.

          Comment

          • Guest

            #6
            Maybe the ladies might get a kick out of these 2 facts about men I just ran across;

            Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at home. He probably lies about other things too.

            Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.

            For more facts about men see http://dailyjokes.co/joke.php?id=1173

            Comment

            • YellowRose
              Super-Experienced


              • Jan 21 2008
              • 17188

              #7
              Jotd

              This one is from Mike ~ fomoco59. For you pilots and ground crews out there...

              After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.

              Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS ' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, UPS is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.

              P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
              S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

              P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
              S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

              P: Something loose in cockpit
              S: Something tightened in cockpit

              P: Dead bugs on windshield.
              S: Live bugs on back-order.

              P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
              S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

              P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
              S: Evidence removed.

              P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
              S: DME volume set to more believable level.

              P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
              S: That's what friction locks are for.

              P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
              S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

              P: Suspected crack in windshield.
              S: Suspect you're right

              P: Number 3 engine missing.
              S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

              P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
              S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

              P: Target radar hums.
              S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

              P: Mouse in cockpit.
              S: Cat installed.

              P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
              S: Took hammer away from midget.

              Ray Clark - Squarebirds Administrator
              The Terminator..... VTCI #11178 ITC #6000 Yellow Mustang Registry (YMR) #12188
              Contact me via Private Message for my email address, or Call (Cell) 210-875-1411

              https://www.squarebirds.org/picture_gallery/TechnicalResourceLibrary/trl.htm
              Faye's Ovarian Cancer Memorial Website.
              https://faye.rayclark.info/index.html

              Comment

              • bird 60
                Super-Experienced
                • Mar 18 2009
                • 1143

                #8
                Very funny. Got my laugh first thing in the morning.

                Chris.....From OZ.

                Comment

                • kuusamon
                  Experienced
                  • Feb 14 2009
                  • 306

                  #9
                  woah ha that I love, Took the hammer away from the Midget, rolling on the floor from laughing, I bet that midget must be pretty ****ed now
                  sigpicGreets,
                  Ronald
                  Kuusamo
                  http://www.tbirdregistry.com/viewdat...tryNumber=1741

                  Comment

                  • Dan Leavens
                    Moderator / Administrator


                    • Oct 4 2006
                    • 6366

                    #10
                    Mike thanks for the chuckles as it appears that there is a good TEAM effort at UPS
                    Dano Calgary,Alberta Canada
                    Thunderbird Registry
                    58HT #33317
                    60 HT (Sold )

                    Comment

                    • stubbie
                      Experienced
                      • Jul 7 2011
                      • 299

                      #11
                      Was feeling a bit down the other day after a disagreement with a contractor over how he had laid our new brick paving. Then I read Mike's UPS gripe sheet. A good laugh always fixes everything.

                      Cheers

                      Comment

                      • YellowRose
                        Super-Experienced


                        • Jan 21 2008
                        • 17188

                        #12
                        Jotd

                        A seventeen year-old boy came home with a fully restored show quality 1960 Thunderbird and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that Thunderbird?!"

                        He calmly told them, "I bought it today." "With what money?" demanded his parents. They knew what a Thunderbird like that would cost.

                        "Well," said the boy, "this one cost me just fifteen dollars." So the parents began to yell even louder.

                        "Who would sell a classic car like that for fifteen dollars?" they said.

                        "It was the lady up the street," said the boy. I don’t know her name – they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a classic 1960 Thunderbird for fifteen dollars."

                        "Oh my Goodness!," moaned the mother, "John, you go right up there and see what’s going on."

                        So the boy’s father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!

                        He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold the 1960 Thunderbird for fifteen dollars to and demanded to know why she did it.

                        "Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn’t intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his Thunderbird and send him the money. So I did."

                        Ray Clark - Squarebirds Administrator
                        The Terminator..... VTCI #11178 ITC #6000 Yellow Mustang Registry (YMR) #12188
                        Contact me via Private Message for my email address, or Call (Cell) 210-875-1411

                        https://www.squarebirds.org/picture_gallery/TechnicalResourceLibrary/trl.htm
                        Faye's Ovarian Cancer Memorial Website.
                        https://faye.rayclark.info/index.html

                        Comment

                        • Dan Leavens
                          Moderator / Administrator


                          • Oct 4 2006
                          • 6366

                          #13
                          Can you imagine Thanks for the chuckle.
                          Dano Calgary,Alberta Canada
                          Thunderbird Registry
                          58HT #33317
                          60 HT (Sold )

                          Comment

                          • YellowRose
                            Super-Experienced


                            • Jan 21 2008
                            • 17188

                            #14
                            Jotd

                            An elderly couple were looking for the car of their dreams, a 1966 Flairbird just like the one that they had dated in, during their younger years. They found one at a local Ford dealership, settled on the price and left to arrange payment for it. They were thrilled to have found one just like the one he owned as a young man.

                            They returned to a Ford dealership to buy it, but find the salesman had just sold the car, a beautifully completely restored 1966 Tbird, the car of their dreams, to a beautiful, leggy, busty blonde.

                            "I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $35,000 asking price," said the man.

                            “You insisted there could be no discount on this model, yet I just heard you closed the deal for $25,000 to that lovely young lady there.”

                            "Well, what can I tell you? She had the ready cash, and just look at her, how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.

                            Just then the young woman approached the old folks and handed them the keys. "There you go," she said. "I told you I could get this joker to drop the price. See you later, Grandpa.”

                            Ray Clark - Squarebirds Administrator
                            The Terminator..... VTCI #11178 ITC #6000 Yellow Mustang Registry (YMR) #12188
                            Contact me via Private Message for my email address, or Call (Cell) 210-875-1411

                            https://www.squarebirds.org/picture_gallery/TechnicalResourceLibrary/trl.htm
                            Faye's Ovarian Cancer Memorial Website.
                            https://faye.rayclark.info/index.html

                            Comment

                            • bird 60
                              Super-Experienced
                              • Mar 18 2009
                              • 1143

                              #15
                              Well, I guess us old timers know what to do now when we're ready to buy another car. Good joke.

                              Chris......From OZ.

                              Comment

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